#maria miller headcanons

[mariatesstruther]

maria miller facts that are 100% true because i said so - for @clickergossip because you’ve been feeding me so well

she was the copy editor of her high school yearbook AND a cheerleader AND captain of the debate team

she still does her stretches every couple of days even post-2003, so even in her 40s she can still do some flips, a backbend, the splits, and a pretty decent toe touch

tommy is a big fan of this 😏

she TOO used to smuggle and do some shady, morally dubious stuff when she was living in a QZ with her father, mostly to keep them both fed and safe and healthy. she never tells him, and he never finds out. the first time she admits this to anyone in jackson is to tommy after he tells her about his past with joel and tess

while the world ended she was at work all day, while kevin was at home with her husband. she never fully found out what happened to them; all she has is that, by the time she got home, the house was trashed and there was blood all over her floor and her walls. she tries her best not to think about this at all

she and dina’s older sister talia are best friends. after talia is killed, maria pledges to herself that she’ll watch out for dina as much as she possibly can, and she basically ends up being dina’s #1 supporter during the pregnancy and first year with JJ. she and dina trade stories about talia and promise to make sure JJ knows how amazing his auntie tal was

sometimes JJ reminds maria so much of kevin that she has to step out of the room

maria has a secret stash of weed that her and talia kept in a jar under a loose floorboard in her house. she rolls joints with rose petals 🌹

maria is lowkey extremely scared of horses, but she doesn’t tell anyone for the sake of keeping up her reputation. one day when she and tommy are cleaning out the stables, a snake startles one of the horses so bad it bucks and kicks over a metal barrel. maria jumps so high and screams so loud it startles tommy, too, and suddenly he and her and this fucking horse are all needing to take a deep goddamn breath together. when she finally admits it, he’s like: ??????? ive seen u ride and get on a horse like you were born on a farm????? what?????

still, from then on, tommy is almost always at maria’s side when she has to mount and dismount her horse. because he talked to a few certain people about a few certain things, she pretty much exclusively rides this calm, beautiful blonde thoroughbred named cleo

maria first recognizes joel in ep 1x06 by his accent and the cadence of his voice. it’s so close to tommy that it immediately throws her, and when he says he’s looking for his brother, well—she obviously needs to know his mf name right away

maria needs to move closer to joel on her horse in that scene because she is severely nearsighted. homegirl needs glasses BAD. she can’t see for shit

tommy searches for glasses for her on every patrol. it is his ultimate life’s goal to find his wife some mf corrective lenses

it takes maria three weeks to convince tommy she is okay to go out on patrols while pregnant. it’s not like he’s being controlling or anything, but her pregnancy is very triggering for him anxiety- and nightmare-wise, and she wants to wait until both of them are comfortable with the decision before she takes any risks. they both settle on the compromise that it feels safe enough for her to go out on patrols with larger groups, as long as they stick to areas that have already been cleared of infected and are accompanied by the dogs

maria is a cat person. she would take care of her neighborhood strays as a kid. by year 10 in jackson, there is a thriving colony of strays that basically live out of her and tommy’s tool-turned-cat-shed at the back of their house

along with tommy, the entirety of the jackson community is invested in making sure maria has a safe and peaceful pregnancy. people start going to tommy and joel with problems that used to come to her, and part of it really annoys her because she knows she’s just as capable as she’s always been. still, a larger deeper part of her is deathly terrified to have this baby, so she ultimately appreciates the extra help and rest

she doesn’t ever tell joel or ellie, but she has a Very Emotional Pregnancy-Brain Breakdown because she’s anxious that ellie will never like her and joel will never like her and then tommy will leave and she’ll be alone with a baby she id scared to have and then the baby will never like her, either. it takes tommy an hour to calm her down—by the end of it, he’s crying a little bit too. he hugs her and kisses her and promises that he’ll never, ever leave—that’s it’s in his dna, his blood, to love her, just as much as it’s in his blood to be joel’s brother—and that he’ll spend his life at her and their child’s side. she believes him

when he does leave in tlou 2, she goes into their bedroom and trashes it completely—rips all the clothes out the closet, pulls down the dressers and shelves, throws his stupid fucking knick-knacks at the walls until they break, strips their bed her bed and rips the sheets. she locks herself in her home and doesn’t speak to anyone for two days; it’s the longest in jackson history that maria goes without working, aside from the week baby miller was born. the members of jackson make sure to leave her alone

when tommy gets back, she continues to refuse to speak to him while simultaneously sitting at his beside in the infirmary for a week straight

seth and maria have had beef that literally stems from the very start of establishing jackson. he’s just a fucking ass. FUCK seth like i will make a whole post about her beef with seth

maria and joel have mutual hate for seth. we’ve discussed this already over here lmfao, they get together and drink and talk shit about him at least twice a week while tommy and ellie have mischief time

sometimes maria and ellie will hear joel or tommy say some southernism that’s so unfamiliar and twangy to them it’s ridiculous, and together they instantly break out into hyper-exaggerated accents to mock them. the miller boys rolls their eyes but they obviously find it to be pretty adorable and hilarious

maria and ellie are not allowed to be on the same team for board game night anymore because they win everything and it is no fun for tommy >:(

tommy does metalsmithing and makes trinkets and jewelry with charms for maria whenever she gets the chance. the first time he makes a loc charm for her, she cries

maria knows how to make those cool patterned woven bracelets out of string and yarn. she teaches ellie how to make some so that she can make valentine’s day bracelets for dina

she visits jackson’s preschool sometimes and it’s so fun because all the jackson littles absolutely LOVE her. at first they think she’s kinda scary because she’s the Serious Boss Lady everybody and their families talk to upon first entering jackson, but one day at the beginning of the schoolyear she comes in and shows the preschoolers that she can do a cartwheel—from then on they’re all absolutely obsessed

[j0elmill3r]

no outbreak au baby girl headcanons n thoughts!!

baby girl would absolutely take up sports after watching games of sarah being amazing and ruthless in soccer <3

despite being a no outbreak au i absolutely adore fics that have ellie as still joels daughter 🥹 so joel just being an absolute girl dad to three kids ... he doesn't drink caffeine, he IS the caffeine with all the energy he needs to be able to deal with 2 teenage kids and 1 toddler

ellie, sarah, and baby girl having girl nights and its just them having fun, eating junk food, and staying up late

i like to think sarah and ellie would share a room and baby girl is like... jealous because she calls it the 'big girl' room so she just vents to her stuffed animals that she wants to be big so she can share a room with ellie and sarah 😭

baby girl definitely picks up music!!

miller family beach day ft. uncle tommy and maria :)) sarah wants to play beach volleyball, ellie is begging joel for ice cream, baby girl wants to build sand castles and all three adults are given one kid assigned to care for

i absolutely ADORE your baby girl works

baby girl would absolutely take up sports after watching games of Sarah being amazing and ruthless in soccer

Oh, for sure. Joel always takes baby girl to Sarah's soccer games and you can bet that they're cheering the loudest for her. When she gets old enough, Joel puts her into those little kid soccer classes where their games aren't scored because hey, it's all about the participation, right? Sarah definitely plays soccer out in the backyard with her to get her some practice so she can show off at her baby classes (and let's just pretend that Sarah 100% doesn't let her win)

despite being a no outbreak au i absolutely adore fics that have ellie as still joels daughter 🥹 so joel just being an absolute girl dad to three kids ... he doesn't drink caffeine, he IS the caffeine with all the energy he needs to be able to deal with 2 teenage kids and 1 toddler

Joel definitely regrets being such a stallion now, Sarah being 14, Ellie being only a year behind her at 13, but baby girl being 3 at least gave him a bit of a gap. But, and a very big but, being a single dad to 3 girls? The man is smacked out his face on caffeine at every single point in the day, and the worst part? It's nothing to do with baby girl. Sarah and Ellie being at that stage with you know, periods and shit, poor Joel goes through it because baby girl's big sisters aren't gonna take their teenage hormonal rage out on their sweet baby sister.

Ellie, Sarah, and baby girl having girl nights, and its just them having fun, eating junk food and staying up late

As much as leaving baby girl alone on girls' nights fills Joel's heart with genuine fear and anxiety, he knows he needs to get out himself, so reluctantly leaves Sarah in charge. Baby girl feels like such a big girl when she gets to stay up past her bedtime and have a soda, it's not that Joel doesn't let her do those things, he just likes to let her have them as a treat. But she loves getting to stay up with her big sisters and hearing all their school gossip, even if she doesn't really understand what they're talking about.

I like to think Sarah and Ellie would share a room and baby girl is... jealous because she calls it the 'big girl' room so she just vents to the stuffed animals that she wants to be big so she can share a room with Ellie and Sarah 😭

There have been so many occasions where Joel's gone to the bathroom and heard baby girl fully ranting to the row of stuffed toys she has lined up on her bed. He's so confused because she always says she likes having her own room but now she apparently doesn't? Then he hears her mention Sarah and Ellie get to share a room and he realizes that she maybe feels a bit left out because the girls like to watch movies together sometimes. So he goes and asks the girls if they'd mind if baby girl came and slept in their room with them tonight, obviously, they don't mind, so baby girl is so happy she gets to spend time with her sisters.

baby girl definitely picks up music!!

Because she mostly spends her time with her dad, that also means she's around Joel when he decides to pick up the guitar for a while, and baby girl just watches him so intently, watching her dad's hands pluck at the strings. So Joel, noticing her fascination with the guitar, gets her one of those kids ones for her birthday and teaches her how to play a couple notes and slowly an easy song.

miller family beach day ft. uncle Tommy and maria :)) Sarah wants to play beach volleyball, Ellie is begging Joel for ice cream, baby girl wants to build sand castles and all three adults are given one kid assigned to care for.

Joel assigns himself to Ellie, Tommy to Sarah, and Maria to baby girl, since her choice of activity was the least exercise. Joel comes back from the store with a bucket and spades for her, Ellie is happy enough to sit with her ice cream and then go into the water with Joel for a while, baby girl being perfectly content to sit with Maria, who was sunbathing, and build her sandcastles.

[bumblepony]

Okay, it's getting colder here and I need warm thoughts. I demand you share with me three Tommy/Maria autumnal headcanons.

(I demand politely with hat in hand). xx

Oh this is a lovely one and strangely enough one I've thought about. I'm actually going to give you six as a bonus. Three Canon verse HC and Three no apocalypse verse HC.

No Apocalypse Verse

1. Tommy is a huge apple cider fan—all things apple cider, the drink, the donuts, the scent. If it's fall, it's apple cider. Maria is a Pumpkin Spice girl. Fall is all things PS all the time. There are wars in the T/M household on what is better. Tommy once spent a week on the couch when he changed out all the candles in the house to apple-scented candles when Maria wasn't looking. Maria once had to buy Tommy two jugs of apple cider when she changed his Starbucks order to a PSL on the app instead of an apple cider macchiato as a joke.

2. They love fall foliage tours. They've been up to the Adirondack every year to take the train ride that goes through the mountains. They are major leaf peepers, and it drives Joel crazy because every year, they try to get him and Tess to go. Joel could care less about the turning of the leaves, and Tess could care less too, honestly, but she loves to fuck with Joel, so she'll set them up to go just to drive him crazy.

3. Once they have their first son Mateo, who just so happens to have been born in the fall, (which was not in any way orchestrated by Maria keeping meticulous track of her cycles so she could make sure when the best moment for conception would be) they do a photoshoot of him in a pumpkin each year. Then, when they have their daughter Tilly (also born in the fall, hmmm, Tommy's starting to ask questions), the tradition continues. By the time little Solana is born also in the fall (okay Maria this is gettin' ridiculous darlin' how did I not notice you were doin' this.) It's a whole thing: baby, toddler, and kid in a pumpkin. It's getting harder and harder to find big enough pumpkins. When the kids are all grown up, they get together to do a joke photoshoot of a reenactment of their first group photo as kids for Tommy and Maria's anniversary gift. Tommy laughs so hard he snots whiskey out of his nose. Maria laughs too but she also gets Teary-Eyed at seeing all her babies so grown up. It goes on the living room wall in a place of honor and never comes down.

Canon Verse

1. Maria is the one doing all the fall activities in Jackson, she loves it, it's one of her favorite times of year. When Tommy comes along he wholeheartedly throws himself in as well. It's actually how they end up falling in love. One late night while Tommy is helping her get the sting lights up for the fall dance, he turns them on and she looks so beautiful in the glowing bulbs that he can't help but tell her and then fate is set.

2. Tommy hates Halloween, always has. Part of it could be the time he snuck down to watch the Halloween movie from the stairs when he was 8 years old, and his big brother, at 13, was watching the movie with his then-friend Shawna, who he very much wanted to be his girlfriend in hopes that she would cuddle close to him during the jump scares. She did, and they were blissfully together for a whole week; Joel even got his first French kiss from it. But all Tommy got was nightmares about Micheal Meyers trying to break into his house on Halloween to kill him and his family. So yeah, Tommy doesn't like Halloween. But every year, he sucks it up and puts on the brave Uncle Tommy face and the goofiest of costumes to make first Sarah happy and then Ellie 20 years later. Because that's what good uncles do. Maria knows, though, and she does everything she can to try and make the holiday as stress-free as she can for him. They have no decorations inside the house, and what they do have outside is the bare minimum, and it's all silly, not scary.

3. Tommy and Maria still love the fall foliage. Their favorite thing to do is to sit outside on their porch in Jackson, Tommy siping his hot apple cider and Maria siping her PS coffee that she makes herself, and they watch the seasons change. Both of them are secretly happy that their little community ended up in a part of the US that has the change of the seasons. On beautiful fall days, Tommy likes to take Maria outside of Jackson into the woods with all the leaves, and they pile them up and dance in them. Ellie lets them borrow her walkmen so they can each put one headphone in one ear each and listen to the music as they sway together.

[iris0-0]

Unneeded update!!

✿✿✿✿✿✿ ✿✿✿✿✿✿ ✿✿✿✿✿✿

So I haven’t been posted much cause tbh I don’t know what to post cause I don’t have any asks/submissions.

[ilovetommymiller]

thinking abt modern day Tommy and Maria meeting at a college party

[mariatesstruther]

ellie and baby miller both doing the “dang mom said no, lets ask dad” thing, except it’s “dang my dad said no, let me go ask his brother” because tommy lets ellie get away with everything and joel lets baby miller get away with everything

neither of them ask tess or maria because they’re too smart for that obviously

[orcasoul]

Joel Miller Headcanons:

Joel's Reaction When You're Sexually Harassed

Warnings: Swearing, violence, fluff.

Ahhhh I love me some protective Joel :)

Word Count: 1,498

Joel didn't think nights like this could ever exist again; Night's reminiscent of the 'Before Times', when you could unwind, leave your stress and worries behind for a little while and just enjoy the moment. The jovial laughter and carefree atmosphere that fills the community hall still amazes him.

For too long, people in this world just existed, trying to make it from one lousy day to the next, always having to look over their shoulder. But here in Jackson it's different. Life doesn't just go on, it thrives, breathes, grows stronger, a testament to the resilience and determination of the human spirit.

Even though some things here seemed frivolous at first, Joel had to admit the room did look beautiful, with fairy lights strung up and handmade decorations adorning the walls - all for the anniversary of Jacksons' founding- but it all pales in comparison at the sight before him now.

There you are, his "partner in crime" (as you so often playfully referred to the both of you as), looking effortlessly radiant as usual, long hair draping over both shoulders, the ends trailing down to the low cut top that accentuates your cleavage, (not that he's looking, nope, not looking at all), a pink tint to your cheeks and a smile that could bring Joel to his knees.

"Hey guys, mind if I sit?" you gesture to the empty seat at the table. "Please join us," Maria smiles warmly. Joel removes his coat from the back of the empty chair beside him and pulls it out, an invitation to make yourself comfortable. "Such a gentleman," you beam at Joel, gently nudging his shoulder with your own. Joel smiles, "Always am, darling."

He doesn't miss how your already pink cheeks flush even brighter at his response, but no, couldn't mean... nope she'll never see you that way, so don't even go there. He listens intently as Tommy and you discuss your patrols with Joel, blushing slightly as you praise him for his capability and competence beyond the walls, even going as far as to calling him a good teacher.

"Well, you're a quick learner. Not everyone catches on as fast as you." Joel has to fight with the small smile threatening to break into a full on grin at his pride in you. Tommy raises his eyebrows in amusement as he watches the easy back and fourth between you two. The night goes on and Joel wishes it would never end.

Just sitting here with you, listening to the sweet lilt of your voice, watching the way your face lights up in genuine laughter brings a warmth to Joel's already thawing heart. He watches you leave as you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom. He knows what's coming just from the smug looks his brother and sister-in law are giving him.

"Don't...," Joel rolls his eyes, "It's not like that at all." "Mmhmm...," Tommy hums, smirking into his glass. Joel huffs, returning his attention to his drink. A few minutes later he sees you making your way across the room, weaving in and out of dancing couples, when you are suddenly blocked from view by a large back and broad shoulders.

Joel is instantly on his feet, defence mode triggered in his brain, suspiciously eyeing this seemingly insistent man. The look on your face tells him everything he needs to know; You're uncomfortable and looking for a way out. His feet move as if they are their own entity, taking large strides across the floor, fists balled up and jaw clenched.

He can't make out what you're saying but it's obvious you are refusing this mans' advances. As you try to push past, the man grabs your wrist, making you wince in pain. Joe's eyes widen in shock. This fucker actually had the audacity to lay his hands on you. Pure, unbridled rage burst through Joel's veins, burning him from the inside out, his objective now crystal clear.

In the next moment, Joel had spun the asshole around, connecting his fist to his jaw, relishing the satisfying crack that resulted. "Don't ever put your fucking hands on her again!" Joel roared while pulling you behind him, shielding you with his large frame. He could feel you trembling as you placed a hand on his back, which only angered him more. How dare this entitled piece of shit treat you that way. You deserve to feel safe in your own community!

"What the fuck, man!" fumed the stranger as he picked himself up off the floor, rubbing his injured jaw. The room suddenly became void of voices, the jukebox being the only continuous sound for a moment, as all eyes shifted to the unfolding scene. The man's gaze shifts from Joel to you. "Seriously?!" he narrow's his eyes at you, anger painting his face red. "You'd rather fuck this old timer than me!"

"Back. The. Fuck. Off... Now!" Joel growled lowly. The guy looks back to Joel. "You know what...," he scoffs, "You're fucking welcome to it! God knows where that whore has be-" Crack!! He falls onto the table, then onto the floor with a sickening thud as Joel rains down, blow after blow. '"Joel! Joel stop!" He can hear you, but he can't stop, not after the vile comments aimed at you.

"Joel, please!" Only upon feeling your hand on his arm did Joel stop, turning to face you, hoping his actions haven't frightened you. But instead of fear or disgust all he sees is concern in your eyes. He turns back to face the man when he hears him groaning while being picked up and escorted out by a few other men.

Tommy appears at Joel's side, quietly reminding him that there are better ways to deal with people like that, - even if his look is silently conveying an 'I would have done the same thing' message -, then he makes sure you are okay before trying to ease the tension in the air by encouraging everyone to return to their business.

"Joel...," you whisper while gently taking hold of his bloodied hand, examining the gashes and forming bruises. "Let's go. We need to take care of this." Joel nods at you, allowing you to lead him outside.

Joel sits at your kitchen table, watching studiously as you sit in front of him, rummage through your first aid box. The deep concentration etched onto your face as you carefully dab at his split knuckles, stirs up a multitude of feelings in Joel's gut; Relief that you're okay and not afraid of what you saw, appreciation at how attentive you are and a fierce need to protect you from any more harm in future.

"I think it's broken," you say, sadly. "Yeah, probably just a hairline. It'll be okay," he shrugs it off, trying to reassure you. You sigh and shake your head. "You shouldn't have done that, Joel." Joel's brows knit together in confusion. "I shouldn't have helped you?" "I mean, I appreciate you defending me, I really do...," your eyes meet his and he can feel the sincerity of your words. You return your focus to Joel"s hand. "But he's not worth breaking your hand over."

It kills Joel that you sound guilty, as if you're blaming yourself for what happened, when it was all the fault of that arrogant prick. "No, he's not...," Joel replied flatly, then gently lifts your chin with his other hand to look softly into your eyes, "But you are." Joel watches as your frown softens into a heartfelt smile, your eyes glistening with un-shed tears.

His eyes momentarily drop to your lips, looking so soft and plump, he wonders if they'd feel as soft as they look. He doesn't have to wonder for long. In the blink of an eye his collar is in your grasp, your lips crashing onto his, and oh, they are soft, just like he knew they would be. Is this really happening?! Joel skims his tongue along your bottom lip and immediately you open, welcoming his tongue as it claims your mouth.

His hands settle on your waist, gently hoisting you up off of your chair and onto his lap. Joel feels your pert tits press against his chest and his cock press against his jeans. He moans into your mouth, running his good hand up your back to cup the back of your head. You respond by wrapping your arms around his neck and deepening the kiss, tounges and teeth battling it out in a game dominance and passion.

When you both finally part, panting for breath, Joel rests his forehead against yours and murmurs, " You don't know how long I've wanted to do that, baby." "You don't know how long I've wanted you to do that," you coo sweetly. Joel chuckles and kisses the tip of your nose. "I'll do that for however long you'll have me." Whatever is happening between you both, Joel knows this is the start of something amazing.

[ohraicodoll]

 Feral Masterlist

Joel Miller x Feral Reader/OFC

(You’ve all lovingly named this character Feral Reader, but she’s referenced as Starshine or Red sometimes in the stories.)

Warning: Explicit Content, Graphic Violence, Trauma, PTSD

(Put in order of story timeline)

Monsters Two-Shot | (18+ Minors DNI) | 3rd POV | AO3 Part 1 | Part 2 Honey One-Shot | (18+ Minors DNI) | 3rd POV | AO3 The first time there was an excuse, the second time was just about release after a hard day.

Be Still Drabble | 3rd POV | AO3 It takes her a while to notice. Joel is having a panic attack. Bitter Two-Shot | 3rd POV | AO3 Joel makes a decision for all of them when they finally find Tommy in Jackson. Part 1 | Part 2 Violent Delights One-Shot | 3rd POV | AO3 With Joel injured and Ellie captured, she has to make a choice. Violent Ends One-Shot | 3rd POV | AO3 They find the Fireflies and one by one, the lights go out.  Crossword Snippet | 3rd POV | AO3 It’s the first time their group has been split up and Joel definitely isn’t waiting for you at the gates.

Daisies Drabble | 3rd POV | AO3 The women of Jackson have their eyes set on Joel Miller.

Beast One-Shot | 18+ Minors DNI for Graphic Violence | 3rd POV | AO3 All she can see is that he’s hurt and she would tear them apart. Left Behind One-Shot | 3rd POV | AO3 Settling into life in Jackson wasn't going so easily and Joel is hit with the possibility she may not be welcomed to stay. Territorial One-Shot | 3rd POV | AO3 She never paid attention to the newcomers when they joined Jackson until one of them begins to get close to Joel. Dominant One-Shot | 3rd POV | AO3 Jealousy and rationality don’t mix. Hero Worship Drabble | 3rd POV Ellie has a little admirer  Your Bury Me One-Shot | 3rd POV | AO3 A failed trade, a dress, music, and their own form of confession. Mine Drabble | 3rd POV He doesn’t like other’s attention on her

Drabbles:

Reckless: Ellie gets mad at her for being too careless with herself Red’s Personality ***Red Integrating Into Jackson Headcanons ***Red and Joel Headcanons Does Red ever try singing again? ***Tommy x Red Headcanons Tommy after the punch ***Ellie x Red Headcanons ***Joel falling for Red Headcanons Red is Ellie’s Mom Gifts from the Barn Cat The Morning After Bitter Part 2 Joel’s Nightmares ***Moments in Domesticity Headcanons ***Ellie and Red arguement Headcanons

Asks

Where does Red met them in the timeline? TLOU Part 2 Question Sunshine Bestie Red and cheating scenario Romance and Connections Red and Pregnancies Maria and Red’s relationship Ellie’s Adjustment Maria standing up for Red Reds Triggers Red & the baby (More) When Reds Sick Annie’s Birthday Joel Calming Red Down Red’s Trinkets

________________________________ If you would like to be added to a taglist for this series, please reply to this post! Taglist: @alouise20 @faceache111​ @hawsx3 @taxidriversainz @iluvbunnyhops @mrfitzdarcyslover @emlovesya  @agent007knight @spaacerabbit @namgification @wonwoosthetic  @wxnderingthoughts @sagggy @escaping-reality8 @badwolf00593​ @themothersmercy @badwolf00593 @mxtokko @happinessinthebeing​ @taranicristeard  @aroacefanenby @barbellpedro  @maviee​ @sgt-morgan @peppesgirl​ @spideysimpossiblegirl ​ @hreader7​ @jackierose902109

[sixhours]

happy birthday, baby girl - camping

Ellie has never had a birthday. Joel can fix that.

Series masterlist | Read on AO3 | In progress

Rating: Teen Chapter tags: The Last of Us, The Last of Us (HBO), Joel and Ellie, Ellie Williams, Joel Miller, birthdays, swearing, canon-compliant, angst, implied past alcohol abuse/alcoholism Words: 7.1k

Notes: A bunch of birthday one-shots loosely based on this headcanon. This might be a five-times/one-time fic in disguise, it hasn't decided yet.

They walk out of Jackson at dawn. For four months, they’ve lived behind the protection of a steady rotation of guards and patrols and reinforced walls. Safe and sound, but Jackson is only so big, and Ellie can’t help but feel a little claustrophobic. Even if she doesn’t have to share her room with another FEDRA brat, even if there are no bodies hanging in the public square, even if Jackson smells like fresh-cut grass and woodsmoke and pine trees instead of piss.

No, Jackson is not Boston, not by a long shot. But it’s not the walls that have her feeling smothered. She’s not used to having so many people see her. Joel and Tommy and Maria and teachers and friends and neighbors; so many people who care where she is and what she’s doing and who she’s doing it with. There are rules to follow, schedules to keep, a community that expects her to contribute.

It’s fucking suffocating if she thinks about it too hard.

Today, not twenty feet outside the walls with Joel at her side, she takes what feels like her first deep breath in weeks.

“You okay, kid?”

“Yeah…fine. Just���it’s different than I remember.”

He blinks into the sun-drenched landscape, autumn just starting to tease the tops of the trees into a golden glow. It’s all familiar ground to him. He leaves the compound regularly for patrols and tells her about what they find at the end of his shifts–not a whole hell of a lot, usually.

But today it’s just the two of them, on foot, with a few supplies and a surprise destination of Joel’s in mind. She’s tried to harass it out of him without any luck.

“Is it…a lake?”

“Nope.”

“A racetrack?”

“Nope.”

“Is it a spaceship?”

This elicits a wry glance over his shoulder, at least. “Nope.”

“Umm…is it the ocean?”

“Kid, when was the last time you looked at a map?”

“When was the last time the maps were updated? For all you know, there could be a whole sea on the other side of those mountains now.”

“It ain’t the ocean, and I’m not tellin’, so you may as well stop askin’,” he says, but she knows he doesn’t really mind her questions.

His backpack and guitar are slung on his back, leaving her to carry the rifle. He has a small cooler in one hand and a walking stick in the other, something Tommy found and carved and sanded smooth. He’d promised to make Ellie one of her own this winter when construction work slowed down.

“How long does it take to get there?”

“Five hours, give or take.”

“And you’ve been through here before?” she asks, hoping her voice doesn’t betray her nerves. They’re walking through thick forest on a rough path, pock-marked with hoofprints from recent patrols.

“Yep. Meant to take you out here this summer but your cousin had other ideas,” he mutters. “Think you’ll like it.”

She shrugs.

“Figured it’s been a lot, these last few months,” he continues. “What with school…the new baby. New…everythin’, really. Thought we could use some time to, uh…I dunno. Talk. Just you an’ me. Like old times.”

Old times .

It’s a funny phrase under the circumstances, but it fits. It’s only been a year since Riley died, since Marlene found her in the mall, since she met Joel. Ellie felt like she’d lived a million lives in that time, like she’d stepped through a portal like Daniela Starr and wound up in an alternate reality. Even in her wildest dreams, she never could have predicted this. Never thought she’d survive a bite, that she’d live to see a life outside the walls of the QZ, that she’d travel across the country with a strange old man and ultimately find herself with a family, small and broken as it is.

She absently rubs at the scar under her sleeve. She’s fallen behind, feet dragging a little as she contemplates all the things that happened to bring her to this point. The mall, Kansas City, the hospital…

I swear.

She doesn’t like to think about the hospital.

Suddenly Joel’s hand is on her arm and she jerks away, realizes he’s been talking and she’s missed it, lost in her thoughts.

“Sorry,” she says.

“It’s nothin’,” he says. “I was just sayin’, I thought a little trip couldn’t hurt, get some fresh air before the snow flies…call it a birthday present.”

“You’re a little late, dude,” she says, picking up her pace to match his longer strides. “Or really fucking early.”

“Yeah, well,” he says, frowning. “Didn’t have a proper birthday this year. I figured you’re owed a few extra.”

“Does that mean I’m sixteen now? ‘Cause I can start patrol training at sixteen. Tommy said so.”

“Nice try, kid.”

She hefts her pack higher on her back, the hiking boots Joel found for her at the trading post rubbing against the backs of her heels. She’s not used to them yet, but she has to admit, they’re a hell of a lot better than her Converse for this kind of walking.

It’s an easy hike, a steady uphill climb on a narrow but well-maintained path. It’s clear it’s going to take longer than five hours when Ellie keeps finding things to look at; a cool black rock laced with glittery gold flecks to add to her collection, an iridescent beetle, a tiny dead bird carcass crawling with worms. Joel indulges her investigations the way he always does, grumbling good-naturedly, but he doesn’t rush her. They cross a shallow stream, Ellie hop-skipping over the rocks while Joel takes the wood patrol bridge, eyes on her the whole time.

The back of her left heel starts to throb about two hours in, but it’s easy enough to ignore.

It’s mid-afternoon, the sun already beginning to fall from its peak in the sky by the time they make it to their secret destination. They crest a hill and off in the distance, a wood structure sticks out over the trees.

“Is that…a treehouse?”

“Kinda,” Joel grunts, sweat shining on his forehead. It was cool when they left, but they’ve both shed their outer jackets in favor of tee shirts as the day went on. She doesn’t have to worry about hiding her scar out here. Eager to explore, Ellie runs ahead up the path and soon she’s standing at the edge of a clearing with a tower in the middle.

“Used to be a ranger’s station but they converted it to an outpost a few years back, I guess,” Joel says at her back.

“So cool,” she breathes, looking up at the tower, what looks like a cabin on stilts. Seeing it up close reminds her of the treehouse in the Swiss Family Robinson movie they played at the rec center a couple weeks ago. At the base is a fire pit and a lean-to, probably for tying up the patrol horses. Joel sets his guitar just inside the lean-to and puts his hands on his hips, squinting up at the structure.

“Can we go up?” she asks.

“Sure hope so,” he says. Joel goes to one of the thickets of shrubs on the far side of the camp and starts poking around. “Or we’re sleepin’ on the ground.”

“We get to sleep up there?”

“Yep,” he says, hauling a metal ladder out of the brush.

“Sweet!”

“Pull on that end,” he instructs, and she does, grabbing hold of the opposite rung and tugging until the ladder is fully extended. Joel lays it up against the side of the lookout so the top rung hooks onto a second ladder that’s attached to the structure higher up. He frowns and shakes the thing until it’s firmly seated, takes a few cautious steps up, testing its stability.

“Safe enough,” he pronounces, coming back to the ground. “You wanna go–”

He hasn’t finished his sentence before she’s leapt onto the ladder, climbing it like a monkey.

“–first? Jesus, kid, be careful…”

But Ellie is already clambering up, hand over hand until she reaches the top ledge. She pulls herself up to standing, walking along the side of the central cabin and down the wrap-around balcony.

“Whoa,” she breathes, leaning out over the railing. From up here she can see the whole valley and beyond. They’re too far to be able to see Jackson, she guesses, peering into the distance. It’s conveniently shrouded in trees.

Joel joins her, panting slightly. “Christ, few months of real cookin’ and I’m outta shape.”

“Sure you’re not just old?” she grins. “We could find you an oxygen tank and a wheelchair. Maybe one of those little electric scooters.”

“Brat,” he huffs, leaning on the railing, gently tugging her back by the handle of her backpack when she leans over too far. “Can still haul your scrawny ass around.”

“This is so fucking cool,” she breathes, turning around. The ranger’s station has huge plexiglass windows, and she cups her hands to one of the panes and peeks inside.

“C’mon,” Joel says, walking back around the building. He fishes a key out from behind a loose shingle near the door. “Let’s go set up.”

The lookout has obviously been maintained. Freshly stained boards stand out against the aging weathered ones like sore thumbs. The floor underfoot is solid, if creaky in places, and there’s a slight draft coming in around the windows. There are chests full of supplies and gear–enough rations to last a small patrol group for a couple of weeks, Joel says. Ellie wrinkles her nose at the familiar stock of canned goods and MREs.

If there’s one thing she has no complaints about in Jackson, it’s the food. Ellie didn’t know green beans could taste like summer, or that a fresh peach could drip sticky juice down her chin without being soaked in cloying syrup, or that soup could be more than a salty broth with shapeless chunks of mush. Until a couple months ago, she’d never had fresh whipped cream or apple pie or so many of the things they serve regularly at the caf. FEDRA rations couldn’t come close, and she can’t imagine going back to that.

She’s relieved to know they won’t be eating from the stockpile of MREs tonight. There’s not a single can in Joel’s backpack. Instead, he’s carrying pre-sliced potatoes and onions and cheese wrapped in foil, packets of roasted vegetables ready to be warmed over the fire, and several apples and granola mix for snacks. Joel said something about catching the rest of their dinner, but she wasn’t fully listening, knowing he wouldn’t make her eat the venison or rabbit or moose if they went hunting.

They lay down their bedrolls on top of foam mats on the wood floor, not dusty and ravaged by time but swept clean and tidy. Ellie flops down on her bed to test it out, staring up into the rafters. There are no cobwebs or birds’ nests. Instead, the exposed beams are decorated with odds and ends, trinkets left behind by other patrollers, random treasures found during scavenging runs. A broken lantern. A rusty horseshoe. Old farm tools. A doll that’s missing one eye and probably haunted, Ellie decides. She’s half tempted to steal it and bring it back with them to Jackson if she can figure out how to get it past Joel.

When they’re mostly settled in their makeshift camp, Joel asks, “Ready to go check out the water?”

“Water?”

“There’s a stream not far from here. You ever been fishin’?” Joel plucks two long poles off the back wall.

She rolls her eyes. “Dude, the Charles was a fucking sewer. No, I’ve never been fishing.”

That earns her a smirk. “Twilight’s the best time for brook trout. Let’s go catch dinner.”

Ellie gets up from her bedroll and makes the mistake of hissing in pain, unable to hide a slight limp from the chafing against her heel. She’s mostly ignored it until now but a few minutes of rest has brought the pain into sharp relief. Joel is immediately hovering at her side.

“What’s wrong? You twist it?”

“No, it’s just…these stupid boots,” she mutters. “Think I got a blister.”

“Let’s see.”

“It’s fine, man, I’m—“

“Sit,” he says in his you do what I say when I say it voice.

“I’m not a dog, asshole,” she grunts, but she does as she’s told, plopping back down on her sleeping bag.

“Foot,” he instructs, kneeling and putting out a hand. She undoes her laces and takes off her boot, peeling off her sock with a wince. The blister has already popped, oozing bloody fluid through the back of her sock. The top layer of skin has peeled away leaving a gnarly red patch of raw flesh in its place.

“Christ, Ellie,” he grumbles upon seeing the damage.

“It’s not that bad,” she says, even as she hisses. Exposed to the open air, the fresh wound smarts like a sonofabitch, as Joel would say.

“Like hell it ain’t,” he frowns, then goes over to the trunk of supplies. He has a first aid kit, but it’s little more than band-aids and salve. The outpost’s kit has gauze and tape and a flask of alcohol for disinfectant. “You been walkin’ on this the whole time?”

“Just the last hour or so,” she lies. “Wasn’t gonna be a whiny little bitch about it.”

He fixes her with a look that brings hot red patches to her cheeks. “Don’t say that. If you’re hurt, we take care of it.”

“Didn’t wanna slow us down–”

“Not on a schedule,” he mutters. “Leave somethin’ like this too long, it's liable to get infected. This is gonna sting.”

He wipes at the wound with a piece of gauze soaked in the alcohol, wincing along with her when the sensation of the cleaner on her raw flesh brings tears to her eyes.

“What’s the verdict, doc?” she rasps when she can speak without gritting her teeth around the pain.

“Don’t think we’ll have to amputate,” he says drily, then glares at her. “Yet.”

She rests her chin on her other knee and waits while he dabs salve on the wound, covering it with gauze and taping it in place. He pulls a clean pair of socks out of her pack and slides one carefully over the bandage, giving her toes an errant squeeze when it’s all done.

“Still gonna hurt, but at least you won’t be rubbin’ it raw. How’s the other one?”

“It’s fine.”

He scowls. “Swear to god, kid, if you’re hidin’ another blister–”

“Ugh, it’s not as bad. See for yourself,” she says, taking off her other boot and sock, sticking her foot directly in his face and wiggling it in front of his nose for emphasis. He swats at it and grumbles brat under his breath, before taking it gently in hand.

Two smaller blisters, still fresh, decorate the back of her other heel. He gives them the same treatment, padding the wounds with gauze so they won’t get worse.

“Was that so damn hard?” he asks when he’s done. “It ain’t a crime to ask for help, y’know.”

She shrugs. “Didn’t want you to worry–”

“S’my job to worry about you,” he cuts her off, then softens, gripping her chin gently between forefinger and thumb. “One I’m pretty damn lucky to have.”

Sometimes, even now, it’s a surprise that he cares. Her throat goes tight and she nods once.

“Now c’mon,” he says, groaning and stretching as he stands. “Fish ain’t gonna catch themselves.”

She puts on her boots and considers leaving them untied, eager as she is to see the water and the fish, but she can already hear Joel’s voice– gonna go ass over teakettle if y’ain’t careful –so she thinks better of it and re-ties the laces before bounding out the door behind him.

“Careful on the ladder,” he reminds her from halfway down, and she refrains from rolling her eyes, but she does take it slow, telling herself his old-man heart is fragile and she doesn’t want to be the cause of a heart attack.

They take a right from the tower and hike deeper into the forest toward the sound of running water. The stream sparkles in the last of the evening sun as they settle on the embankment with their fishing rods. Joel shows her how to dig into the soft parts of the soil for worms to use as bait (gross, but cool), how to wind them around the hook and stab them to secure them (just gross), and how to cast the line so it doesn’t get tangled in the brush on the side of the bank (nearly impossible).

After a few minutes, Ellie shifts from one foot to the other. “Now what?”

“We wait. If you feel a bite on the line, start to reel it in.”

They do. She holds the pole and she waits. And waits. And–

She slaps at a mosquito on her neck, then another one on her arm. Her nose itches and her hair tickles her ears. She recasts the line when it bobs and drifts too far, reeling it back in, watching as Joel does the same.

“So how long does this usually take?” she says when she’s cast for the fifth time and felt absolutely nothing. She watches the bobber drift along with the current. The sun has dropped behind the trees, taking most of the heat out of the air.

“Long as it takes.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Gonna take even longer if you keep yappin’ and scarin’ the fish away.”

She rolls her eyes, mimicking him. “‘ Yappin’ n’ scarin’ the fish away.’ ”

He side-eyes her, but his cheek twitches the way it does when he’s trying not to laugh at one of her puns.

“Did you used to fish a lot?”

“When I was a kid, mostly. Old man took us out once in a while.”

“So…early Jurassic period?”

“Yep,” he says easily. “Rode my dinosaur to the lake n’ back.”

“Har har,” she says, swatting at a mosquito that’s buzzing around her left ear. “I just thought there’d be, more, y’know…fish.”

“I liked it about as much as you do, at the time. Never caught much,” he grimaces, reeling in his line and casting it again. “Think the old man just liked gettin’ away from our mama so he could get shitfaced in peace.”

She arches an eyebrow. “Wholesome.”

“Not the word I’d use. Anyway, spent more time pushin’ Tommy in the lake than I did catchin’ fish.”

Now that sounds like fun. “Can I push you in if we don’t catch anything?”

“You can try,” he smirks.

More time passes. Ellie shifts on her feet and swats at more mosquitos, trying and failing to imagine Joel as a kid.

“Man…I wanna ride a dinosaur,” she sighs.

“Jesus Christ,” Joel mutters, but he’s smiling.

Then there’s a distinct tug on her line, so forceful and surprising she almost lets the whole contraption go.

“Joel!”

“What?”

“It’s…it’s going! What the fuck do I do?”

“Well don’t panic,” he says, setting his pole down carefully, wedging it between two large rocks. “Hold on, kid, I gotcha.”

“It’s probably a fucking boot or something,” Ellie says, holding the pole back with both hands to keep it steady, unable to reel in whatever is on the other end for fear of losing her grip.

“Dunno about that. It’s movin’. Here,” he says, offering a hand over hers to support the pole while she switches to turning the reel, the tension growing with each turn.

“Good job, not too fast or the line’ll snap,” Joel says. “Sometimes ya just gotta let ‘em run with it a little, wear ‘em out.”

Soon she can see the silvery green-red fish thrashing at the surface of the water.

“Holy shit!”

“Lookit that,” he grins, helping her lift the fish out of the water by the line as it writhes and flails. “Guess you get to eat tonight.”

She can’t help but be a little disappointed when she gets a good look at the result of her efforts. She’d been picturing a monster fish given how strong it had been, but the thing isn’t even a foot long.

“I thought it was gonna be a fuckin’ shark.”

“Sometimes the little ones fight the hardest,” he says softly, and she’s glad the fading light hides her blush. She’s pretty sure he’s not just talking about the stupid fish.

He puts the poor creature out of its misery by smashing its head with a rock, then promises to show her how to gut and filet the slimy, scaly thing once they’re back at camp. She silently vows to try a bite even if the thought turns her stomach.

“You gonna try again?” he asks.

She does, digging up a fresh worm and re-baiting her hook while Joel goes back to his line. By the end of the hour, they’ve caught two more trout and Ellie’s stomach is growling.

“Better than fishing with your old man?” she asks on the trek back to camp.

He huffs a soft laugh. ”Yeah, kiddo. Much better.”

Back at the lookout, there’s a pile of pre-cut firewood under a tarp in the lean-to. Ellie gathers small sticks and scraps for kindling from the surrounding woods and soon Joel has a fire roaring. The routine is familiar; night settling around them while they prepare dinner. Ellie takes pity on Joel’s knees and volunteers to climb back up the tower to fetch the cooler and cooking supplies.

By firelight, Joel shows Ellie how to strip the trout of their scales, gut them, and filet them without leaving tiny bones in the flesh. Then they throw the fish in the pan with a pat of butter and some salt and pepper that Joel brought with them in the little cooler, and set the other foil packets over the fire to heat.

The fish is flaky and tastes nothing like the gamey meat she’s used to, so Ellie eats her fill and tries to ignore how thrilled Joel looks to see her eat something that isn’t bread or fruit. He’s not subtle about it, offering her a second helping before she’s finished the first. It’s only a little smothering so she decides not to give him shit about it.

They’re full and sated by the time Joel pulls out his guitar and hands it to Ellie.

“You been practicin’?”

True to his word, he’d taught her how to play guitar when they got to Jackson. And he knows she’s practiced because he hears her every night up in her room with the smaller guitar he’d traded for, floundering through the chords to her favorite songs in the old, tattered copy of “100 Greatest 80’s Hits” she found at the trading post. She knows how to read music, but making her fingers do what she wants them to do on the strings is tough, and she doesn’t have the benefit of Joel’s calluses.

She stumbles through the first two stanzas and the chorus of “Don’t Dream It’s Over” before she has to stop and restart. Joel listens, eyes softened by the firelight, and suggests a slight adjustment to her posture that seems to help with the larger guitar.

Then it’s his turn. He makes it look easy; the music seems to come directly from his fingers, and his voice is soft but strong. It’s not nearly as bad as he thinks it is. She thinks he could have been a singer in the Before, but she’ll never tell him that. And his taste in music is still questionable, but it’s better than nothing.

The fire flickers and crackles and warms her. She slides off the log they’re using as a makeshift seat and puts her back against it, stretching out her legs. Between the darkness and the heat and the day’s long hike, she’s tempted to curl up at Joel’s feet like a cat and sleep, so drowsy that she doesn’t even notice when he’s put the guitar away.

“Bedtime, kiddo,” he says softly, nudging her with his boot. “Can’t carry you this time.”

“‘Cause you’re too damn old,” she yawns. “Need that scooter.”

“Uh-huh. Scooter ain’t gettin’ us up that ladder. C’mon, you first. I’ll clean up.”

She ascends the tower at a slightly less frantic clip and goes straight to her bedroll, barely having pulled off her boots before crawling into her sleeping bag. She hears Joel come up not long after, then he’s rustling around in the cabin doing Joel things–locking the door and loading the rifle and draping an extra wool blanket over her. By that point, she’s already sound asleep.

Then she’s being shaken gently awake. 

“Ellie…hey, kiddo. Wake up.”

“Whassit?” she grumbles. It’s not dark, but it’s not daylight. She can just make out Joel’s features looming over her.

“C’mere,” he says. “Wanna show you somethin’.”

She wriggles out of her sleeping bag, still blinking in confusion. Joel drapes the wool blanket over her shoulders and she pulls it tight around herself. It’s not cold enough for a frost yet, but it’s not warm. Outside, the moon is full and bright, casting lunar shadows on the landscape around them. It’s beautiful, but hardly worth waking up at the ass-crack of…what the hell time is it, anyway?

“What–”

“Shh,” he whispers, leading her around the balcony to the other side of the building. “Look over there. Not too far out.”

A black shape materializes, trundling slowly, cautiously along the western edge of the valley. A snout lifts into the air as if checking for something, and Ellie has the distinct impression it can hear them.

“Is…is that a fucking bear ?”

“Shhh, don’t scare ‘em,” he whispers, taking a seat with his back to the windows, legs dangling off the edge of the balcony. Ellie sits cross-legged next to him, wrapping her blanket around her to guard against the fall chill.

“Whoa.”

The bear is close…like, really fucking close. Even in the dim light, she can see the reflection off its sleek fur, the tip of its nose, its dark eyes. She finds herself reaching out to grip Joel’s wrist, surprised to be, well…a little scared. They never worried about animals during their time on the road. They never stayed in one place long enough, never had enough scraps to leave behind. There was the occasional moose or deer, and those were welcome because they were potential food. Occasionally they’d hear the haunting calls of coyotes, and those were enough to keep Ellie awake at night if her imagination didn’t do the job for her.

The real threat was other people, whether infected or not. But tonight, after months enveloped in the safety of Jackson’s walls, Ellie feels painfully exposed. She scoots closer to Joel. He knows better than to say anything, just puts an arm around her and tucks her against his side.

“Wait,” she says, eyeing the distance between them and the bear, then them and the ground. “Can’t bears, like…climb?”

“Not this far. That’s why I brought the food up. ‘Sides, she’s got other things to worry about. Look.”

It takes a second, but soon Ellie sees the smaller cub lumbering along behind its mother. The pair weave their way across the landscape, pausing occasionally to sniff the air.

“Den’s probably nearby if the cub’s out this late,” Joel says, rubbing at his chin.

“So bears have bedtimes, too?” she smirks.

She can feel his chuckle against her side, a deep rumble in his chest.

“We’ll wanna make a lotta noise on the way back, make sure they know we’re around. Shouldn’t be too hard for you,” he says, poking her lightly on the shoulder.

“You love it and you know it,” she says.

“Yeah. Yeah, I guess I do,” he says, and she feels the warm press of a kiss to the top of her head.

“Hey, Joel…what do you call a bear without any teeth?”

“A gummy bear,” he says, so fucking smug. “You can do better than that.”

“Ugh, asshole. Okay, okay, umm…wait…gimme a sec…oh! Why did the grizzly wear a tank top?”

Joel sighs.

“He had the right to ‘bear arms’!”

“Terrible,” he groans. “‘Sides, bears don’t have arms, they have–”

“Dude, really? Don’t be that guy.”

He reaches up and musses her hair. Funny, when that jerk Michael Sumner did the same, she’d tried to break his nose. When Joel does it, it makes her chest feel warm and tight.

When the bears have wandered into the trees and out of sight, Joel yawns and stretches and gets to his feet. “You ain’t a bear cub, so it’s bedtime for you, twerp.”

“I don’t even have a bedtime.”

“Sure you do. You’ve just never stayed up late enough to see it.”

She’s pretty fucking sure that’s not true and he knows it, because she’s gone whole nights without sleeping and he’s been by her side every time.

“That was pretty cool,” she admits back in the cabin, when she’s wriggling into her sleeping bag and pulling the blanket over herself.

“Yeah,” he yawns into the crook of his arm, then reaches over to shut off the lantern. “Thought so, too.”

There’s another yawn and the briefest touch of his hand to her head before he says, “G'night, kid. Have good dreams.”

“Night.”

She lays awake, staring up at the rafters, too keyed up from seeing the bears to fall asleep right away.

For all of Jackson’s weirdness, their little house and her room and her bed have…grown on her. It helped that Joel had shown up at her bedroom door one rainy July morning and looked around the room with a certain determination.

“This place could use a new coat of paint, huh?”

It needed a lot more than that. They’d spent that weekend stripping the ugly wallpaper from the walls, and the following weekend covering the whole thing with primer and a light eggshell blue paint–leftover from the rec center remodel, Tommy said. Joel had shown her how to soften the wallpaper glue with a spray bottle and an iron set on low, how to cut in the corners and smooth out her brush strokes and use the angled brush around the edges so there weren’t blobs of paint everywhere. He’d repaired the broken shelves and traded for new bedding and curtains and added a wall mount for her guitar until the room was almost unrecognizable from what it had been.

Now the shelves hold her few books, her collection of cool rocks, her comics. The pictures and posters on the walls are all things she drew or found at the trading post. The photo of Joel and Sarah holds a prominent place on her dresser. It smells like fresh paint and the lemongrass wood cleaner Joel uses on the floors, and somewhere along the line, the bad memories faded a bit. Not gone…just not as sharp, not as vivid.

A sinking feeling settles in her stomach, a kind of unfamiliar, aching sadness. She knows the word “homesick”, but she’s never been lucky enough to have a home to miss.

She scoots closer to Joel until her forehead presses lightly against his shoulder. It isn’t because he smells like wood smoke and the lavender soap from the commissary. It’s not because the flannel is soft, or because he naturally shifts toward her in his sleep, ready to put an arm out if she needs him. It’s not because of that. She’s just a little cold.

He’s already snoring, the same rumbling cadence that drifts across the hall every night. It makes her think of the bear and her cub, tucked away in a cave somewhere nearby, curled up together. Safe. Home.

She doesn’t even remember falling asleep. When she wakes, she’s surprised to see daylight; faint, but the sun is almost up. Joel is…where is Joel? She sits up. He’s not in the cabin or outside on the balcony. She pads out the door, still in socked feet, wincing. Her blisters hurt, but not in the sharp, angry way they did yesterday. Just a dull, achy annoyance. She’ll live, as Joel would say.

Wisps of smoke rise into the air from below. She leans over the railing and finds him standing next to the fire. From this vantage point, all she sees is the top of his head, messy brown hair threaded with gray, the shoulders of his green flannel, and the mug of coffee steaming in his hand.

He looks up before she can call out to him, smiles while squinting up at her. “Hey, up there.”

She waves and runs back inside to put on her boots, then she descends the ladder–she’s gotten really fast at it, practically sliding down the rail–and jumps the last five rungs onto the ground.

”Jesus, kid, slow down. You’re gonna break your neck goin’ like that.”

“Morning to you, too, sunshine,” she chirps.

They eat around a small fire, finishing last night’s leftovers and some of the granola mix. Joel chops more firewood to replace what they used while Ellie packs up their camp. She restrains herself from stealing the one-eyed doll from the rafters.

Joel goes quiet after breakfast, focused on “leaving the lookout in better shape than they found it”, he says. But as they set off on the path back to Jackson, something feels off. They’ve barely covered the first mile when he clears his throat and catches her eye, that look that says something’s on his mind.

“So, uh…wanted to talk to you.”

She braces herself. She hears the conversation in her head in Joel’s signature drawl.

I’m sorry, but this ain’t workin’.

Time for us to go our separate ways.

You’re not my daughter, and I sure as hell ain’t your dad.

Part of her rails against it. There’s no way. Joel would never leave her, Joel would never…he would never .

But the other part–the small, mean, shameful part she keeps tucked deep down inside, the one that will always be there no matter how old she gets, no matter how long she stays with Joel–is waiting for him to make good on that threat.

She shrugs, muttering. “Okay, I guess.”

They’re side by side, almost brushing shoulders, and she straightens her spine and lifts her chin.

“Meant to tell you this last night, but…it was late n’…anyway. Outbreak Day’s comin’ up.”

“Uh huh.”

He screws up his face like he’s sucked on something sour, one of the tiny green crabapples that are just starting to grow on the tree in the backyard of the house they share. In the house where she sleeps now, in the room he helped repaint and redecorate. In the town where they live, where she goes to school, where he builds things. Home.

She suddenly remembers their conversation from months ago.

September 26th.

Joel’s birthday.

That homesick feeling wraps itself around her insides again and pulls, a steady downward tug of grief. Suddenly she wants nothing more than to be safe in Jackson’s walls, sitting at the dining table with Joel and Tommy and Maria and baby Isabel, laughing over some dumb joke Tommy told at Joel’s expense until milk squirts out her nose. She does not want to be here, does not want to be having this conversation, even if she doesn’t know what he’s talking about yet.

She picks up her pace, forcing Joel to do the same.

“That’s, uh…that’s kind of a rough…time.”

“For you and, like, everyone,” she says, practically marching away until he catches up, grasping her by the shoulder.

“Hey, would you slow down?” he huffs. “Let’s just…stop for a sec.”

She rolls her eyes, crossing her arms. “If you’re trying to…to…pawn me off on Tommy again–”

“What?” he balks. “No, I–”

“Is this about the stupid Fireflies?”

He goes very still. “What do you mean by that?”

I swear.

“Nothing,” she mutters, kicking at a rock, unable to meet his eyes. “I dunno, I just…you’re being fucking weird, man.”

“No, it’s not about the…no. It’s–it’s…Christ, you know I’m shit at this stuff. Just…gimme a minute.”

He walks to the side of the path, hands on his hips, frowning. Finally he takes a breath and looks at her. 

“I’m not sure how I’ll…be for a few days. Might be…different, is all.”

“You gonna turn into a werewolf? Grow fangs and claws or some shit?”

He sighs in frustration. “No.”

“So, what? You gonna beat me or something?” She tries to smile, to make a joke of it, but her voice falls flat.

“No! Jesus, no, nothin’ like that,” he says. “Ellie, I’d never. Not ever . You know that, right?”

She looks at him for a long time, sees the desperation in his eyes, before nodding slowly. She wonders if he knows that a beating is the least of her worries as far as punishment goes. Doesn’t think he could take hearing about all the other shit that happened to kids in FEDRA school. For all his experience, Joel could be incredibly naive. Or maybe he just didn’t want to see it, didn’t want to think about it. She supposes she can’t blame him. If he knew just how broken and bruised she was, he’d probably run away screaming.

“I know, dude,” she huffs, trying to brush it off. “It was a joke.”

“Jokes are s’posed to be funny,” he says flatly. “And I’d never–ever–hurt you like that.”

She throws up her hands. “Then stop making me guess and just tell me what the fuck is wrong!”

“Alright,” he grumbles, running a hand through his hair. “Thing is…I used to drink. A lot. A lot more than…well, just a lot.”

Her brow furrows. She doesn’t think she’s ever seen Joel take more than a sip or two from his flask when they were on the road, and only when it got cold. Come to think of it, she doesn’t think she’s seen him drink anything stronger than shitwater since they came back to Jackson.

“After Sarah…after the…everything…well,” he says. “I ain’t proud of it. Could say I come by it honestly–”

“Your dad,” she says softly.

“Uh-huh. An’ it was always worse this time of year. Come end of September…I’d lock myself in the apartment and, uh…lose a week or so. Tess usually left, stayed…somewhere else. Checked in on me, made sure I didn’t…that I didn’t, uh–”

“I get it,” Ellie says, lump in her throat. “The guy who shot and missed.”

“Right. But I’m not gonna do that,” he says quickly. “No drinkin’. Between you and Tommy and everythin’ else…can’t afford to. Don’t want to.”

She nods carefully, fidgeting with her hands, picking at her cuticles. Just when she thinks she’s found her footing, something like this comes along and throws her off again.

“Just don’t know how it’s gonna go,” he says, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I haven’t been sober for this in…well, probably since the…the first one. Might be a bit…a bit cross.”

“So…normal, then?”

He sighs and gives her The Look, the one that tells her this is supposed to be a serious conversation and she needs to take it seriously. But she’s fucking lost, as usual. Is this the kind of shit people used to do Before? Stand around and talk about their feelings? It would almost be easier if he used his fists. She knows he’s good with those. He sucks at words even more than she does.

Besides, what does he want her to say? Thanks for not drinking yourself to death? Thanks for not offing yourself?

He continues more softly, struggling his way through. “I just want you to know…if I’m…if…I’m not good…for a little while…it’s not you. Okay? There’s nothin’ you could do to…to make me that way.”

She remembers the first time he told her he was sorry, how lost she’d felt when he’d tried to explain how she shouldn’t have had to shoot that kid. No grown-up had ever been sorry for anything in her life and she’d long stopped expecting them to be. Now Joel was apologizing for something he might not even do…and it wasn’t even that bad.

“Y’know, you can always go to Tommy or Maria if–”

Her eyes snap to his face. “I want to stay with you.”

“I know. But…if you need to. I won’t…be mad.”

She shrugs, not knowing what the fuck to say. “Can we go now?”

He considers her for a moment, then ducks his head in a nod.

“Sure. Yeah…let’s go.”

They walk in muted silence for a while. Ellie thinks about their house in Jackson, thinks about Joel pushing Tommy into a lake, about him squeezing her toes through her sock after bandaging her foot, about his arm around her shoulders reminding her where she stands. She realizes that the things she knows about Joel’s past can probably be counted on one hand.

He had a daughter.

He killed people.

He was a smuggler.

Now she could add “He was a drunk” to that list.

And yet, none of those things, save for the first, made the person she knew as Joel Miller.

He made good pancakes.

He bandaged her blisters.

He taught her how to hold a gun and play guitar and fish and hunt. How to keep watch and protect herself.

The silence lasts until Jackson is a tiny speck in the distance. Finally she breaks it.

“I know you said…you’re lucky to worry about me. But…that goes both ways.”

He shakes his head. “Ellie, you shouldn’t have to–”

“I want to.”

He looks over at her sharply.

“I just…I don’t wanna go away ‘cause you’re having a bad time…or whatever,” she says, keeping her eyes fixed on the ground, on each step ahead. “You’re always there for me when things are shitty. It’s only fair.”

He opens his mouth, probably to tell her it’s not the same because he’s a grown-up and she’s a kid or some shit, but she cuts him off.

“And I know it’s not about…me, okay? I get it. I’m almost sixteen, which is practically seventeen, which is basically an adult. I can handle it.”

His eyebrow goes up to his hairline at that, mouth twitching in a little smirk. His hands are full, so she grabs his wrist, circling it with her fingers, squeezing to get the point across.

Finally he nods, speaking softly in his familiar warm drawl. “Alright.”

She nods back, satisfied, returning his smile.

Together, they walk toward home.

[elliesmainhoe]

headcanons of ellie x reader where reader is Maria and Tommy's daughter 😋😋

Ellie Williams Headcanons: Reader is Maria and Tommy's daughter

You are the most protected person in Jackson fr

You've got your mom - the communes leader, who is notorious for her maternal instincts when it comes to you.

Your dad- a very family orientated man and would risk anything for his family.

Your uncle- the one and only Joel Miller. An absolute legend around Jackson.

And last but not least Ellie Williams ❤️, your girlfriend. An amazing hunter, a skilled killer and immune to cordyceps.

So let's just say you're very protected.

You met Ellie when you were fourteen when she first got to Jackson.

You were introduced of course. Joel was her father figure and Tommy was yours, you were the same age so it seemed only right that you hung out.

At first you did not like eachother

Ellie tolerated you at best.

Until one day- at the ripe age of sixteen you and Ellie had been assigned your first every patrol with no adult supervision.

For your first ever solo patrol you and Ellie had been assigned as partners- you were given the usual bog standard route, the old town hall, a bit of the woods and finally the library.

It had been without a hitch for the most part, no run-ins with any infected. Well that was until the library. This route had been done thousands of times before how a stalker went unnoticed was lost on you, but one thing lead to another, a dead corpse laying on the ground and a collapsed in doorframe meant-

"I think we need to camp out tonight, the only way is out the window and I don't think we should be climbing out a three story window in the pitch black"

You shuffled your feet absent mindedly, not really knowing how to fill the awkward silence that enveloped you two. "Yeah... That's uh probably a good call..."

One thing leads to another and by the sun rise you were on a more personal level.

People often call you "Jackson's princess"

Bcuz let's be real, with the millers looking after you, you 100% are a tiny bit spoiled <33

---------------

Taglist: @aunslie @lonelyfooryouonly @eywaskisses @daryldixonh0e @kittynnie @lovelyyevelyn @randomhoex @moonlightdivine @haerinwho @mufflaa @mial1l @sarahsmileslikesarahd0esntcare @moonlighting87 @escaping-reality8 @magicalfreakcowboylawyer @hejdevkdbdjsd @dergy @half-of-a-gay @ellieismami @cyberlainn @gollumsmygel @sseorii @kyleeservopoulos @taloulalila @ellieluhme @kiiyoooo @delusionalvioleht @joelscharm @hi2647 @gumdropkoo @coffeeandbookskeepmealive @womaniza @namgification @kimiisims-blog @tayyyystan @abigaillovestoread @whoreshores @kylieeluvstlou @knowitsforthebetterr @endureher @erikaar @lanasluverr @sayah13 @ilovebufflesbians @srryhoneyy @222fine444u @jade1212

Not proofread

[ilovetommymiller]

i do believe the moment maria finally trusted joel was when he came to the dvd renting place (maria worked at a blockbuster as a teen and she fought several people to run the rental place) and he asked for 'When Harry Met Sally..."

and maria stares at him in confusion for a moment because theres no way this ruthless killer watches romcoms

[mariatesstruther]

wait an au where maria was the waitress 👀👀👀🤠👀👀

We really don’t talk enough about how Tommy went to jail on Outbreak Day because he was defending his waitress like…… that’s hot

[cherriesxinthespring]

my favorite tlou headcanons because i need some sort of escapism: (cat focused because i'm fascinated by her).

cat and ellie met at an assigned job, such as gardening or something like that. ellie absolutely hates gardening, cat actually prefers jobs like that instead of patroll.

when ellie came to jackson she had picked up a little bit of Joel's southern accent

ellie picks up drawing (or really, starts thinking it's a valid hobbie) because of cat. she probably compares her drawings to hers all the time.

cat thought that ellie and dina actually didn't get along. but really, it was just because they were constantly bantering and making fun of each other (in a homoerotic way).

there has to be another gay girl in jackson. cat is probably dating her during the farm episode.

i actually think that cat and ellie didn't end on a bad note, it just ended. just teenage first love. it was probably a confusing homoerotic situationship.

If ellie were to come back to Jackson i think they would have a conversation. i do think that ellie never told cat anything about her immunity, joel, or what happened with joel's death and abby. so, cat probably has heard so rumours but, not the hole story.

tommy is suuuuuch a gossiper. so is jesse. FOR SOME REASON, i think they get along really nice. imagine them going on patrol together.

ellie being a teenager and having to have familiy dinners with maria, tommy and joel. her angsty ass just sitting there.

cat eventually becomes the tattoo artist in Jackson. Like imagine all the teenagers going to her in secret to get silly tattoos.

Dina likes making jewlery in her free time. don't ask me why. i just know she does. and she reads romance novels too.

there's a silly graphity inside jackson, probably hidden on a house that ellie and dina made for dina's sixteen birthday. it's one of dina's favorite memories with ellie.

that, and the first time she saw her play guitar.

in an au where joel wouldn't have died:

ellie and dina would've been endgame. probably would've stayed in dina's house in Jackson, raising jj together (with the help of Jesse, and the Millers)

jesse would become a part of the millers family for sure. (it would take a while to soften up joel but he has always been a fan of jesse),

ellie would've gotten more tattoos, once she convinced herself that cat didn't absolutely hate her.

jesse would've gotten a dog. (also, jesse gives me same vibes as tess).

jesse would end up marrying a really sweet girl called aria. i don't know why i picture her as a readhead

[cowgurrrl]

More domestic Joel Miller headcanons because I can’t stop thinking about him

When Tommy and Maria have their daughter, Joel absolutely falls in love with her. You two take turns helping the new parents out so they can get some sleep which means you get to watch Joel hold the tiny baby

He will bounce her around the dimly lit room, humming whatever song is stuck in his head, and his curls are a mess on top of his head and he looks so tired but he’s so happy

As she gets older, she clings to him and cannot get enough of him

One time you were walking through town together and you heard a very loud “UNCA JOE” coming from behind you

Joel lit up like a Christmas tree when he turned around and saw the little girl abandoning Maria to rush across the town square and into his arms

She and Ellie become fast friends and the two become little trouble makers despite their 14 year age gap

Speaking of trouble, Ellie constantly makes fun of how affectionate you and Joel are at home. On patrol, you keep it professional and barely even kiss each other goodbye. But, once you’re in the comfort of your own home, all bets are off

This man was so touch-starved for so many years but now that he has you, he is the clingiest man alive

Joel will come up behind you when you’re doing something and wrap his arms around you, kiss your neck, tickle you, whatever he needs to do to distract you

He LOOOVVVEEESSS laying his head in your lap and letting you run your fingers through his hair while you ramble about your day

Can’t fall asleep unless he’s touching some part of you

He has a horrible habit of smacking your ass any chance he gets (poor Ellie)

“You guys are gross,” she’s yelled across the room so many times you’ve lost count. Joel thinks it’s hilarious each time

“You’re gross,” he’ll accuse before letting go of you and turning to face her. “You don���t have to be so jealous. There’s enough Joel Miller to go around.” He teases before wrapping her in a big hug and spinning her around the room

Her squeals of laughter could power a whole city as she screams at him to put her down

Loves cooking even if it took him a long time to learn

You and Ellie grinned your way through some truly awful meals but he got better and now you actually look forward to when he cooks

Teaches Ellie how to cook even though she’s more impatient than he is

You manage to snap a Polaroid of the two of them at the stove with their backs to you and under it you wrote “Chefs Miller + Williams”

Oh my god the nicknames they would come up with for each other

Ellie Bellie was the first one and then it quickly divulged into Elle Belle, Bellie, Smellie, Smell, Elle, and so many more

At one point, you were each calling her Beleanor Roosevelt

Joel’s nicknames get cycled through pretty quickly: Joey, Jo Bro, Joel Bowl, Bowl, Grumpy McGrumps (curtesy of Ellie), Goel (Joel’s drunk alter-ego) and whatever else ends up sticking

Joel is one of the most intelligent men you have ever met and you would (and have) trusted him with your life but Jesus Christ is he oblivious when Ellie starts dating

Sarah wasn’t really interested in dating so Joel never had to talk to her about anything but with Ellie EVERYTHING is different

Ellie never really came out in the sense that she never sat you two down to have an emotional conversation. She just kinda came home with Cat and told you she was her girlfriend

You were being a typical protective figure for Ellie and asked Cat lots of questions but even then you weren’t sure if you thought Cat was right for Ellie. Joel, however, was surprisingly quick to welcome Cat and didn’t have any qualms about Ellie dating

When you asked him about it later, he shrugged and said, “I think it’s nice that Ellie has good girlfriends like her”

“No, Joel. Cat is Ellie’s girlfriend not a girlfriend”

“I’m lost”

Once you explain it to him, he goes into Ellie’s room and they talk for a long time about God knows what

Joel Miller may be from Texas but that man supports his daughter, no matter what

Neither of you ended up being a huge fan of Cat but once Ellie and Dina start dating, it’s over

Joel invites Dina over for dinner every chance he gets and embarrasses Ellie each time but Dina loves it

Subtly tries to teach Ellie love songs on the guitar

Ellie subtly lets him

You subtly fall deeper in love and the life you have built with them

In conclusion, Joel Miller would be the sweetest little domestic guy if given the chance.

Give me my last paragraph back or give me death 🍓🍓🍓

[chronicallyonlinewriter]

Tbh my headcanon about this scenario is that it's pretty obvious that some of Jackson's teens have access to weed - in that it is one of the worst kept secrets ever - and occasionally it gets brought up to Tommy and Maria, who are very 'oh interesting we will have to look into this,' and which generally only results in Maria admonishing Eugene for not being more selective about his clientele.

I mean, what is she gonna do - shut it all down, and lose her own weed connection?

we need more ellie smoking weed fics / hcs . i have this image of her coming home just in time for curfew (bc she never breaks Joel’s rules, but fuck Jackson’s rules) high as Fuuuuck and he can smell it on her so he makes her a sandwich while she begs him not to tell anyone, so the other teens don’t get into trouble. he says the only person he will tell is tommy, who he dutifully tells at first light and tommy takes an inordinate amount of glee in being able to make fun of ellie for the rest of their lives